Gather: A Senbatsu Series
by EllipsesBandit
Summary: A collection of humorous I hope oneshots set during everyone's favorite plot arc, Bishounen Assemble! I mean Senbatsu! Some romantic pairings, but mostly just gags. Now featuring: The Revenge of Gaming no Ohjisama!
1. 1: Homecoming

_**Gather, Chapter One**_

_**Chapter:** Homecoming _or_ The EllipsesBandit... Fangirls Out_

_**Author**: The EllipsesBandit..._

_**Disclaimer**: Nothing here belongs to me. Blame Konomi Takeshi. I do._

_**Rating**: T (and that's all Fuji's fault). Most of this fic will be K to K+_

_**Pairings**: TezFuji_

_**Summary**: Tezuka and Fuji never get their reunion scene at Senbatsu, so I made one up. Not much of a plot here, just some fangirling and an attempt at an introduction to this Senbatsu serial._

_**A/N**: Okay, so after the epic that was Gentlemen's Wager, I thought I'd kill my boredom with some very loosely connected one-shots. Where better to do this than Bishounen Assemble? I mean ... Senbatsu. Welcome to _Gather: A Senbatsu Serial_. We're starting with Tezuka and Fuji because the EllipsesBandit... is somewhat biased. Fair warning, a lot of this series will be inside jokes that my few Tenipuri friends and I make. I hope you get them too, but I don't know how many people agree with my subtext. Anyway, these are all just for goofs.Some pairs, but mostly just conversations between people. Enjoy. Review if you have a minute. I need the self-esteem._ _And thanks Microgirl, Whisper, and CrimsonVictory for assuring me I'm not going to a very special hell for writing this drivel._

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Tezuka Kunimitsu stood outside the Senbatsu dormitories with an uncharacteristic expression of relief on his face. He closed his eyes and breathed the air, listening to the far off sounds of tennis balls against racquets. Months of physical therapy followed by eighteen hours of delayed and rerouted flights made tennis camp a unique sort of heaven. He permitted himself a small moment to take the environment in before returning to his normal stoicism; he had business to attend to.

Ordinarily, he would take the stairs, but he had been ordered to go easy on his shoulder, and if he wanted to play tennis later, he shouldn't stress it carrying bags up four flights of steps. Instead, he hit the up button on the elevator and waited, running through his agenda in his head: first, drop his own things off; then, phone Ryuzaki-sensei to let her know he was there and receive any instructions; then, wait until the players returned from afternoon practice to surprise Fuji. It was an elegantly simple plan ...

...that was immediately destroyed by the whisper-soft footsteps that followed him into the elevator.

Fuji smiled, startlingly blue eyes open and glinting, as he gracefully reached to hit the close door button and pinned Tezuka to the side of the elevator in a kiss that would have lasted the entire four story trip had either of them bothered to push the floor button. Tezuka knew that the current situation was both undignified and dangerous to his new position as replacement coach, but stopping Fuji at this point would be risky. If he pushed the tensai away, Fuji would become annoyed and likely work out some kind of revenge, and that would disrupt the camp and complicate the selection process. From such a perspective, it was his responsibility to wrap his arms around Fuji, his hands just under Fuji's shirt to touch his bare skin. Responsibility. Absolutely.

Eventually, Fuji pulled away long enough to ask, "So, when were you going to tell me you were coming back?"

"When were you going to tell me you knew I was coming back?" Tezuka countered, removing one hand from around Fuji's waist long enough to steady his glasses.

"I only found out this morning," Fuji argued, pointing an accusatory finger at Tezuka. "I overheard _that woman_ discussing it with Hyotei's coach. It took a good deal of my breakfast time just figuring out when your flight got in."

"That woman?"

"The Jyosei woman. Tezuka, I know you'll be coaching with her, but she is repulsive. She flirts with Echizen. She has keychains of her own students. Couldn't we get someone else?"

Tezuka had not yet met Hanamura Aoi, but Ryuzaki-sensei did inform him there was a reason she put no Seigaku members on the Jyosei coach's team. "Apparently not."

"If she touches you, I'm planting some of Inui's new juice in her tea."

"Fair enough." Arguing would be futile at this point. Instead, Tezuka traced one hand up Fuji's spine, observing the shudder the tensai attempted to conceal as he did so. "Anything else I should be aware of?"

Fuji didn't answer immediately, still distracted by Tezuka's movements. It wasn't too long before he decided to take some control back. He ran his palm through the back of Tezuka's hair, using the movement to pull himself up to Tezuka's ear and whisper his answer, punctuating each piece of gossip with a kiss against his neck. "The usual situations. Oishi's giving himself an ulcer. Inui is having a crisis over Yanagi and Kaidoh being in the same building. And I suggest a crowbar to separate Ohtori and Shishido; they're on your team."

"Fantastic," Tezuka replied once he remembered how words were formed. "And you?"

"Have missed you very much." Fuji returned his attention to Tezuka's mouth, attempting another distraction. It worked for a while, but eventually they needed to breathe.

"And you're not involved in any schemes I am going to regret?"

"Ne, Tezuka, you'd think you didn't trust me."

"Fuji."

"I've been perfectly civil with both Atobe and that San Rudolpho boy, thank you. Atobe's been busy annoying Sanada, and I arranged for Yuuta to stay with Taka-san, so he's well protected. I've had my own matches to attend to."

Tezuka nodded. "And you have no matches now, of course."

Fuji beamed innocently. "I would never skip out on a practice for my own personal gain."

Tezuka fought valiantly to ignore the hands currently twining through the strands of hair at the back of his neck and sending sparks of electricity through his entire nervous system. "I have the schedule, Fuji. I know where you're supposed to be."

"Assuring that you received a proper welcome home is certainly not for my own personal gain."

"I am not going to cost you your chance on the team. Go back to practice."

Fuji smiled, ignoring the comment. "I'm not on your team list here, you know. You can't be held accountable for my actions off the court."

"Tennis, Fuji." Tezuka felt very proud of maintaining his buchou voice against fingers that had started to trace down the front of his shirt, absently teasing apart the buttons.

The tensai rolled his eyes. "Hai, Buchou." He let go of Tezuka, his usual smile replaced by a somewhat terse frown. Tezuka reasoned that sending Fuji back to practice like that would mean he wouldn't play with enough skill to truly impress the coaches and thus would actually harm Fuji's chances more than not attending practice at all. A simple goodbye kiss would not delay him too much longer. So Tezuka grabbed Fuji's wrist before it could open the door, spun him around, and--

--the door opened anyway to an exasperated shout of "Jesus!"

Tezuka did not blush. Blushing was undignified, and he absolutely would not fall prey to it even if Fuji's younger brother was currently standing outside the elevator door, head turned to the side and one hand covering his eyes. "Coach says you've been in the bathroom areally long time, Aniki," Yuuta managed to say.

Fuji never faltered for an instant. "Mn. Thank you, Yuuta. I'll be along in just a moment."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm just going to go disinfect my eye sockets. I'll take the stairs." Yuuta turned, not removing his hand, heading for the stairwell as the doors started to close.

Fuji stepped one foot out to keep them open. He looked up at Tezuka, good-natured as always, but somewhat disappointed. His voice sounded far away as he said, "I'll see you at dinner then, Tezuka."

Tezuka wasn't sure how he should respond, so he only answered, "Ah." Fuji left, and as the doors began to close, Tezuka knew he'd messed that up. Something had gone missing from that exchange. He was still trying to figure out what when a hand gently pushed the doors open again, and Fuji grabbed him in a fierce hug. This time, the embrace held a different kind of passion from the first attack. Fuji held Tezuka as though the buchou had been away at a war from which he had little chance of returning. The coyness disappeared, replaced by a sudden, naked honesty. Not knowing anything else to do, Tezuka just held him back.

"Ne, Kunimitsu, I'm _very_ glad you're back," he whispered into his ear, before darting out through the closing doors.

Tezuka leaned back against the railing, dimly remembering to push the fourth floor button after a few minutes. It was good to be home.

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_A/N: I promise most of the chapterswon't be as cavity-inducing as this one, but if you've read my stuff before, you know I have a weakness for this pair. I don't write fic to_ not _fangirl out. Next plan is for Shinji vs. Mizuki so stick around!_


	2. 2: Underdogs

_**Gather, Chapter 2**_

_**Chapter Title:** Underdogs _or _Poor, poor Ibu-kun_

_**Author:** The EllipsesBandit..._

_**Disclaimer**: Still not mine. Send hate mail to Konomi Takeshi._

_**Rating**: K_

_**Pairings:** None this round. If you're weird, you could take this as Ibu/Yuuta or Mizuki/Yuuta, but that's all unintentional. Mention of Kamibana._

_**Summary**: Shinji gets stuck rooming with Mizuki who decides to convert him to the Rudolpho way._

_**A/N**: I love Shinji. He's probably my favorite character on the show. So what do I do? Stick him with one of my least favorite characters on the show. Sorry, Ibu-kun. Fudomine is just so good at being smacked around. I've also come to realize I have a severe problem with tormenting Yuuta. Think this is some sort of elder sibling complex, Teffi? Anyways, much love and cookies to my reviewers!_

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When Ibu Shinji first heard he had been selected to represent Fudomine at the Junior Senbatsu, he made one mumbled prayer to any and all gods listening: that he not be forced to room with Kamio. True, Kamio was a decent tennis player, his best friend, and the first person to turn to if you forgot your lunch money, but if Shinji had to deal with one more wistful sigh of "If only Tachibana-san was here," he was going to strangle Kamio with his own grip tape.

So Shinji crossed his fingers and for once in his downtrodden life, the fates had listened. Sengoku got stuck patting Kamio on the shoulder, and Shinji hoped he could finally spend a nice week just playing tennis. However, he did wish he'd been a little more specific on who he would like to room with instead.

"You see, Ibu-kun," his roommate drawled, "a school like Fudomine is a waste of your unique skills. If you transferred to a more--" here the boy paused for a rather greasy laugh, "--elite academy..."

"It seems to me that a more elite academy would be one that could get into Nationals. Fudomine is going to Nationals, even though we nearly lost toYamabuki. We wouldn't have nearly lost if Tachibana-san had allowed me to play singles two instead of three, but I think Tachibana-san is starting to favor Kamio. It's really unfair to some of the rest of us who have been working just has hard, though most of the other people are more concerned with doubles so it doesn't matter so much to them. If you ask me, Kamio needs to work on his stamina before being moved up in singles position, but nobody really asks me..."

The Rudolpho manager interrupted by laughing again, twirling a strand of pomade coated hair on one finger. Shinji had never seen anyone with that much product on their hair before. He wondered if Mizuki realized how droopy it made his hair seem. Perhaps if he were in a better mood, Shinji might offer to share some of his conditioner, but the more Mizuki talked, the darker Shinji's mood became. "So you can see that a tensai such as yourself cannot truly be appreciated at a school as ...young as Fudomine."

At the word "tensai," the room's other occupant flinched. "Mizuki-san, why are you so concerned about getting people onto the team anyway? You're a senior, and we're not in Nationals," asked the younger of the Fuji brothers whom Mizuki had invited to join them before dinner. Frankly, Shinji thought it was rude to invite people into a dorm room you were sharing with another individual, and the Fuji boy didn't even seem happy to be there.

"Yuuta-kun, it is that kind of attitude that prevents your advancement. I'm concerened about the future of San Rudolpho. The legacy I leave will be difficult to follow with you and Kaneda alone. And Ibu-kun joining our organization would be beneficial to both sides. At San Rudolpho, we have proper funding and coaching--"

"I do not typically get along with coaches. Besides, I'm not really a tensai. I couldn't even beat Echizen after he'd lost his right eye. Tachibana-san says I need to work on my upper body strength, but he also thinks I should cut my hair, so I'm not sure how much I can trust his opinion. In any case, I have been lifting more weights recently so that I can improve before we go to Nationals. Because Fudomine did make it into Nationals even with Kamio playing singles two. I noticed San Rudolpho didn't make it into Nationals. That must be very frustrating. We had to beat Hyotei, but we did manage. I suppose I could tie my hair back for my games at Nationals, which might make Tachibana-san happy."

"You can't measure yourself simply by one match against Seigaku's little prodigy. I mean, Yuuta-kun couldn't beat him either, but we still keep him on the team." Mizuki gestured to indicate they short-haired boy currently sipping at a water bottle and looking bored.

"Thanks, Mizuki-san. What with Echizen and Aniki at this camp, I really needed that boost to my self-esteem. Glad I can count on my senpai." Fuji's younger brother took another swig of water. "You wouldn't believe what I saw in the elevator today. Coach sent me looking for aniki and--"

Mizuki ignored his kouhai. He seemed to be getting rather desperate, twirling his hair more and more rapidly. That odd little smile of his looked strained. Mori's face looked a little like than when Ishida accidentally hit him in the chest with a Hadokyuu. "My point is that San Rudolpho would be a way for you to advance in the tennis world and finally gain some recognition."

Shinji sighed, tucking a strand of violet hair behind his ear. Maybe rooming with Kamio would have been better than this. Kamio eventually put on headphones and stopped talking. "I do not want to be recognized for joining a losing team. Even if San Rudolpho won its games, I would not want to be recognized wearing such a uniform. Brown is a very poor color choice and a solid stripe across the chest is unflattering. You should consider redesigning it if you want to help your team next year."

Fuji's brother snickered a little at this. Shinji had not really considered it a joke, but it felt nice that someone was actually listening to him for a change. Perhaps there was a way for him to escape his current situation. "Fuji-kun, we still have some time before dinner. Would you like to play some tennis with me? I heard you can perform a good rising shot, and Tachibana-san said it might help my technique if -"

The boy interrupted before Shinji could continue his monologue, "Sure, as long as you don't try that paralysis technique on me. How do you see people's muscles twitch from so far away, anyway?"

"It's fairly simple once the eye is properly trained. However, the skill is too easily broken if the opponent catches onto the pattern. Or cheats and switches hands like Echizen did."

"Echizen does a bunch of weird moves," Fuji's brother agreed. "Who slides like that across the court, anyway? It's like playing against a circus freak."

"Did you know he once stole a roll of grip tape from me? I clearly picked it up in the store first, but he insisted on competing for it. He can be very materialistic."

Fuji's brother nodded sympathetically. "What a punk."

"Yuuta-kun." Suddenly, Mizuki moved between the two second years. Shinji had forgotten his roommate was there. "I thought you and I could go to dinner together. After all, we're in the same training group."

"You also said this camp was a chance to improve my skills by playing against different styles. I'll see you at dinner, Mizuki-san."

Shinji escaped the San Rudolpho manager with his new friend. Perhaps they could play doubles against Echizen and Momoshiro. Shinji knew from experience that Echizen was a very poor doubles player...


	3. 3: Gaming no Ohjisama

_Gather, Chapter 3_

_Chapter: Gaming no Ohjisama or When Ichinen Get Really, Really Bored._

_Author: The EllipsesBandit..._

_Disclaimer: Still not mine. Send hate mail to Konomi Takeshi_

_Rating: K_

_  
Pairings: None. Taichi fanboys out over Akutsu for a second, but otherwise it's clean._

_Summary: Taichi is invited to join Seigaku's ichinen trio for an unusual twist on the game of tennis. _

_A/N: This is what happens when you take a nerdy CCG gamer and get her addicted to Prince of Tennis. What's really sad is after writing this, I'm tempted to buy a set of the actual Japanese PoT game and substitute my own rules. No idea if they coincide with the real game. Too bad I can't sell it without getting sued. Anyway, I thought I'd give Sengoku some validation here because Sengoku is love._

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"Are you sure we won't get in trouble, desu?" Taichi knew it wasn't against the rules to play cards and the freshmen were all off duty at the moment, but the game his three new best friends proposed was ... unorthodox to say the least.

"We play all the time, Dan-kun," Kachiro assured him. "As long as none of the senpai find out, it's fine."

"But what if some of the senpai do find out, desu? What if Akutsu-senpai finds out?"

"He's not even at this camp," Katsuo quirked an eyebrow. Taichi realized he was probably being rude. Katsuo-kun had agreed to be his partner in this game, and it was really a sign of trust to be invited to play at all. He should stop worrying, but if someone like Tezuka-san or Atobe-san or Sanada-san found out about this...

"Just draw your card already," Horio yawned.

Taichi snapped back to reality. "Hai, desu!" He pulled a card from the top of one of the decks. "Anou... we have Momoshiro Takeshi, desu. Power 9, accuracy 6, speed 6."

Horio flipped over the top card from his deck. "Versus Amane Hikaru. Power 7, accuracy 7, speed 6." Hmm, he's plus 2 in doubles. Damn." He and Kachiro consulted their hand. "We'll activate special weapon: long-handled racquet for 2 accuracy points."

Katsuo pulled a card out of their hand. "Activate special ability Dunk Smash for 3 power points."

"Distract opponent with bad puns," Horio cried suddenly.

"Um, Horio-kun, that's not on the card," Taichi pointed out.

"Well, we should have put it there." Horio growled, Katsuo rolling his eyes. "Fine, we play, 'ii data.'" He tossed down a card with a rough sketch of Inui-san's notebook. "Let us see your hand."

Katsuo flipped over the fan to reveal 2 activate special abilities, one special weapon, a doubles disagreement (-2 to accuracy), and one Inui Jiru card (automatic default). Finding nothing he could use to his advantage, Horio relented, reluctantly pushing the cards into Taichi and Katsuo's pile. "Next match."

He flipped over the top card. "Haha! Fuji-senpai!"

Katsuo groaned. Fuji's basic stats were high enough, and he had enough special abilities to trounce any other character. Also he was immune to the Inui Jiru card. Taichi took a deep breath. They would need to pull very high to beat a tensai card. Shaking slightly, he revealed the next match-up. "Ah! Echizen-kun!"

Horio frowned at his cards, eyebrow furrowed in irritation. On paper, the two's scores were tied. "Invoke random weather card," he finally announced, hand hovering nervously over the weather pile.

Taichi shut his eyes. If Horio pulled a wind card, Echizen-kun was smashed. Fuji-san was the only player whose total increased with wind. Everyone else decreased by 3 accuracy. Horio pulled the card, then threw it on the table moaning.

"Ah! Heavy rain! Game delay."

"We're never going to find out who wins, are we?" Kachiro sighed.

The players discarded all of the cards. "We still keep the service."

Taichi didn't quite understand the rules for keeping the service, but he didn't feel like correcting the noisiest of Seigaku's ichinen trio.

Horio revealed a bright pink rectangle that read in English bubble letters "Doubles!" He flipped over two cards. "Wakato Hiroshi-- 5,8,6-- and Ohtori Choutarou --8,6,7. Ooh, and plus 3 in doubles." Horio crossed his arms and smirked.

Katsuo looked nervous, but flipped over the cards. Their opponents shrieked.

"No way!" Kachiro cried.

"How did you draw both of the Golden Pair! That's plus 6 to accuracy!"

"Lucky, desu!" Taichi cried.

"Do we really have to count the scores?" asked Katsuo, his chin a little higher than usual.

Kachiro quickly threw down a card. Activate special ability, Change Over.

Taichi read the card's description. _Player may randomly pull one card from the draw pile for Wakato to imitate._

Horio clutched his fists as Kachiro, eyes closed, waved his hand over the fanned draw deck. He selected a card, revealing: "Ha! Atobe-san-- 9, 10, 9!"

"Atobe's negative 3 in doubles, Kachiro."

"Eh?" Kachiro read the card, whimpered, and passed the lot over to Taichi and Katsuo.

"This game's fun, desu!" Taichi cried, momentarily forgetting they were supposed to keep their volume low in light of the senpai not twenty feet down the hall.

Before he could quiet himself, he heard a cheerful, "What game's fun?" from just outside the suddenly open door.

"S-S-S-S-Sengoku-senpai!"

"Yo!" Taichi's senpai swaggered into the room, blue eyes sparkling at the prospect of a new competition. "I'm hiding from my angsty roommate. Got room for one more? Deal me in."

"Ah ... Sengoku-san," Kachiro covered, talking far too fast. "We've already started and it would take a while to explain the rules and we have evenly matched teams right now because this game only works with two players and..."

"Is that Momoshiro's name on that card?" Sengoku raised an eyebrow at the card that had been kicked aside in the freshmen's sudden shock. Bad! Bad! Bad! Sengoku-senpai was in the same class as Akutsu-senpai and if Akutsu-senpai ever found out Taichi had played a game with his name on the cards and his skill level at less than perfect tens he'd never speak to Taichi again and might even demand his headband back and...

"Anou ... we can explain..." Katsuo tried, but the senior had already brushed them aside to scan through the deck.

He took a moment to read through some of the top cards, blinking a little more than normal as the four waited nervously. After scanning the contents, he said, "You know, if you added some pictures, you could probably sell these to every schoolgirl in the Kanto region."

It was the freshmen's turn to blink in confusion.

"Am I in here?" Sengoku-senpai flipped through the cards until he found the one with his name on it. "7,7,7. Hey, I'm better than sevens."

"It's, uh, a lucky number?" Horio offered smiling.

"Yeah, but I'm better than sevens," He cycled further into the deck. "Kamio has 6,6,10. I'm better than Kamio!"

"But Sengoku-senpai, he beat you the last time you played," Taichi said meekly. It had been a difficult match to watch, and Taichi hated to bring it up.

"That was months ago. I've trained since then. I'm much better than sevens now." Sengoku frowned, offended, reaching into his tennis bag to locate a pen. Finding one, he crossed out the three sevens and replaced them with three tens. "There," he beamed, showing his work to his kouhai.

"Sengoku-san, only Tezuka-buchou gets three tens. And that's only if no one plays an injury card," Kachiro informed warily.

Sengoku held up one finger. "Yes, but Tezuka doesn't have my luck. Besides, he'd probably be really annoyed if he found you guys playing this game. I hear he makes people run a lot of laps when he gets annoyed. Do you think you'd finish by the end of the tennis season?" Sengoku's smile stayed firmly in place, betraying not the slightest hint of malice.

"Sengoku-senpai, you would never tell on us, right?" Taichi asked, fists clutching together out of habit.

Sengoku waved one hand. "Now what kind of a senpai would I be if I did that? Let's just play a little. I call winner."

Nervously, the freshmen continued their game.

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"We play 'Overzealous Fangirls.' Minus 2 to accuracy," announced Horio who had taken over the lead of the ichinen coalition.

"Mn," Sengoku smiled. "Too bad Sanada's suffering from 'Invalid Buchou Syndrome.' That's minus 4 to fukubuchous. Looks like I win again."

"Sengoku-senpai," Taichi sighed in frustration. "I don't see how you can draw your own card three times in the same game, desu."

Sengoku winked and flashed a "V" with his fingers. "I'm very lucky."

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_A/N: Yes, I'm a nerd. Anyway, thanks to my reviewers. Appreciate the suggestions, though no guarantees on when/if I'll get around to responding. Definitely have plans fora Golden Pair and a Saeki/Fuji/Tezuka bit as well debating how to work in some Momoryo, but no guarantees. Next up is fun with Hyotei, though. Again, to my beta-gals, unending love and waffles._


	4. 4: Not So Wonderful Days

_**Gather, Chapter 4**_

_Chapter Title: Not So Wonderful Days or The EllipsesBandit... picks on Oshitari Again_

_Author: The EllipsesBandit..._

_Disclaimer: Blame Konomi. These boys aren't mine._

_Rating: K_

_Pairings: Slight OshiGaku, but mostly clean_

_Summary: Atobe decides Oshitari needs training in areas other than tennis._

_A/N: So yeah, I still enjoy picking on Yuushi a lot. It's the Fuji fangirl in me, I think. I researched the techniques mentioned in this piece with my music major lil' sis. She actually does this stuff in college. Also please forgive and PM me about any poor romanizations. I'm working on that. Hope people are still enjoying this crack fic. Reviews appreciated and rewarded with waffles._

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Oshitari Yuushi was aware of several facts. (1)He was at a tennis camp, therefore he should be playing tennis. (2) He was not playing tennis. (3) He had a pencil in his mouth. (4) Facts 2 and 3 were Atobe's fault.

"Again from the chorus, Oshitari," Atobe ordered, stirring whatever fruit-flavored concoction he'd decided on today with a sea foam green umbrella.

Oshitari had had enough, spitting the pencil out of his mouth. "Atobe, this exercise is completely unrelated to tennis camp and I --"

"Unrelated? How is upholding our school's pride unrelated to this camp? I expect Hyotei to dominate in _every_ competition, and you were an embarassment at that dinner."

Oshitari's glasses slipped as he narrowed his eyes. "How could I do that when I wasn't even given a solo? You had me singing backup through the entire number!"

"And did you stop to wonder why?" Atobe raised an eyebrow. "You can't understand a word that comes out of your mouth. Those peasants at Fudomine have a higher sense of enunciation. Now again."

Oshitari knew there was no winning this. He could walk out, but that did mean walking out of the Hyotei tennis team entirely which meant Gakuto would probably get stuck playing doubles with someone like Hiyoshi or Taki, and Oshitari simply could not have that. Grimly, he shoved the pencil between his teeth, grinding probably a little too deep into the wood.

"_Ithu-o, konna, hui ni, kathe ni --"_

"You're lisping. Again." Oshitari really couldn't stand it when Atobe snapped his fingers at him.

"_I hath a enthil in ay outh. It ith ery ithicult not to liths_."

"When you can sing around the pencil, ore-sama will know you have progressed to the point of not being a blight on Hyotei's name during karaoke. Na, Kabaji?"

"Usu." Atobe's manservant witnessing the "lesson" was simply adding insult to ...well, insult.

"I'm going to go practice tennis now, Atobe." Oshitari took a step towards the door.

"Then I'm going to give Taki a call to see if he's up to start playing doubles again. It will be good for his self-esteem after being switched with Ryoh."

Oshitari ran through several cheerful fantasies of creatively violent uses for toothpick umbrellas and pencils. Suitably calmed, he took a step back and repositioned the pencil.

"Again."

Oshitari opened his mouth, though was spared the next verse by an imposing, "What the hell are you two doing?" from the doorway.

Oh great. Rikkai.

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Sanada and Renji had been on their way to the weight room when they heard the arguing and occasional bits of lisped chorus from meeting room. Whatever was going on in there had to be good data, and Renji was determined to find a player's weakness Sadaharu knew nothing about. Sanada reluctantly followed, not risking overworking his facial muscles to roll his eyes.

The sight of Oshitari standing in the center of the room, the ends of a pencil sticking out of his mouth like a bone in the jaws of a shaggy sheepdog, however, was enough to make even Rikkai's fukoubuchou exclaim in surprise. Atobe using a paper drink umbrella as a conductor's baton probably contributed as well.

"Ah, Sanada," Atobe greeted. "Oshitari was just undergoing some rudimentary enunciation exercises before the karaoke competition. Perhaps you'd care to join him? I notice you tend to lose the beat during the eight note sections. I have some rhythmic phrases that may assist you. Repeat after me: _Shou-Sha-Wa-A-To-Be._"

Sanada, however, had hooked onto only the first sentence. "What karaoke competition?"

"_Uht karaoke co-etithion?"_

"The competition ore-sama will be hosting to celebrate ore-sama's ineveitable selection for the Japanese team. Of course, with Rikkai's rather dismal sense of pitch, I can understand if you do not want to compete."

Renji sighed. Atobe wasted his time constantly provoking Sanada. Hyotei's buchou simply failed to realize that Sanada didn't consider such a poser worth the effort, thus the farce of a match earlier in the day where Sanada had not even bothered to play one of his dreaded Fuu Rin Ka--

"Teach your players to sing without sounding like they are propositioning every member of the audience, and they may be worthy of competing against Rikkaidai."

Damn. Sanada was a tightly wound competitive spring without his regular visits to check on Yukimura. Renji was going to be very glad when the buchou was out of recovery.

Atobe cast a meaningful glance at Oshitari. "Indeed. And your kouhai could do with projecting his voice away from his nasal cavity before sharing a stage with ore-sama again. Na, Kabaji?"  
"Usu."

"Renji. Find Akaya." Sanada turned to stalk out of the room.

"Please tell me you are not serious about this?" Renji sighed without much conviction as he trailed along at his fukoubuchou's heels.

"Have you ever known me to joke? Find Akaya."

He could have gone to Kyoto with his family. He could have stayed home and analyzed taped tennis matches. But no, he had to come to tennis camp. Had to see if he could beat out Sadaharu. Nevermind psychotically competitive fukoubuchous...

Renji trudged down the hall toward the weight room Fudomine usually occupied. There was a 76 percent chance Kirihara would have followed his natural instincts to hunt down the weakest prey in the herd.

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_A/N: Don't hold me to the karaoke competition. Another fic, perhaps. And that's all for Senbatsu theater today. Join us next time for some Golden Pair fluff. Hurray!_


	5. 5: Kirihara's Free Period

_Gather, Chapter 5  
_

_Chapter: Kirihara's Free Period or More Golden Pair Fluff from the EllipsesBandit..._

_Author: EllipsesBandit..._

_Disclaimer: Konomi Takeshi still owner of Prince of Tennis. It's his soul on the line, not mine._

_Rating: K+ for mild Golden Pair Fluff_

_Pairings: Golden Pair and slight mention of TezFuji and a few of my other faves._

_Summary: The Golden Pair and Kirihara are both hunting for some privacy at Senbatsu, but for very different reasons. Ever wonder what Rikkai does in their free time?_

_A/N: Okay, so this round probably has the most inside jokes. Apologies if some of the action seems out of character, but I couldn't get this mental image out of my head and decided to share. Yukimura made me do it. As always, many thanks and waffles to my beta-gals and reviewers. Reviews keep me posting.  
_

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Kikumaru Eiji was the second happiest person in the world to see Buchou return.

The first happiest, of course, was Eiji's best friend, Fujiko, who spent the last two days in a kind of Tezuka-induced happy haze. He would have gotten in trouble if any of the other coaches were perceptive enough to spot it. But Eiji considered himself a close second because Fujiko being in happy hazes meant Eiji didn't have to spend every other afternoon consoling him out of fits of melancholy and/or preventing tensai wrath. This also meant he had more time to spend with Oishi, the third happiest person to see Buchou return. Eiji had hoped Buchou being back might lower Oishi's stress levels a little, but Oishi generally worked very hard to keep himself wound like a yo-yo. Eiji loved yo-yo's.

"Nyah, Oishi, it's a secret. I can't tell you till we're there!"

"Eiji this is a free _training_ period. We're supposed to be _training_.

"We can train," Eiji insisted. "But I wanna train somewhere nobody else is watching." More specifically, somewhere that Kajimoto guy wasn't watching Oishi. Kikumaru had hardly had any time alone with his doubles partner the entire camp, let alone a chance to defend his territory. Ryuzaki-sensei meanly insisted the two of them not share a dorm room, which was completely unfair since Inui and Kaidoh got to! Inui probably cheated and did something to the computer, though.

"_Ei-ji."_ Despite the fact that Kikumaru had a firm grip on Oishi's arm to drag him down the hallway, the fukubuchou still managed to pull him backwards and spin him so they were facing. Eiji could see the crease between his eyes that happened whenever Oishi was fighting to maintain his sense of responsibility. "You need every minute you can to practice, and I'm not going to distract you. You have to make the team."

"You too," Kikumaru responded automatically, even though he knew what Oishi would say next. But tennis without Oishi... it just didn't fit into Eiji's world view anymore.

Oishi shrugged, trying and failing to hide his sadness from his doubles partner. "I can't risk my wrist before Nationals, Eiji. You have to make the team for both of us."

Kikumaru gave an exaggerated sigh. "Fine. But I practice better if you're there, and I don't want anyone else to see if I invent something new."

"Thank you," Oishi sighed in relief, and leaned down to reward Eiji with a kiss to his forehead when they heard a loud throat clearing from a few feet away.

"Ah, Yanagi-san," Oishi said quickly, unable to combat the strawberry-colored patches blooming on his cheeks.

"Sorry to intrude--" _sure he was_, Kikumaru thought. Eiji developed a dislike for Rikkai's analyst early on. Nothing personal, but Kikumaru liked people to be in harmony, and with Tezuka back Seigaku was finally balanced and tension-free again. Yanagi interrupted that harmony and made Inui lose focus which upset Kaidoh so Momoshiro would bother him which would annoy Echizen who'd follow Buchou around until Fujiko snapped and Taka-san would hide in the clubhouse until everyone stopped fighting. It was a lot of work for the Golden Pair to keep up with. Oh ... Oishi was talking to him.

"Have you?"

"Huh?"

"Seen Kirihara-kun around?" Oishi prompted gently, though he probably knew exactly what Eiji had spaced over.

"Oh. No, not since team competition let out. Most of the others are back in the weight room, I think."

Yanagi nodded, making that weird hair of his bob around as if he was balancing a bowl on his head. "If you see him, please inform him that Sanada and I need to speak to him."

"Sure," Oishi agreed, always diplomatic even when dealing with Rikkai people. Rikkaidai was a scary school. Marui was nice enough and had emailed Kikumaru some very good cake recipes, but the rest of the team was just creepy. Yanagi stalked towards the weight room, and Oishi returned his attention to Kikumaru. He still remembered to finish giving him his kiss; Oishi always remembered things like that. "So, where are we going?"

_Oh yeah!_ "Come on!" Eiji regained his grip on Oishi's arm, careful to hold on above the wrist, and continued his breakneck dash towards his surprise.

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Kirihara discovered the storage room the first night of Senbatsu. Whenever he'd be spending an extended amount of time in one location, he liked to locate all of the escape routes and good hiding places -- it was important to know good places to stash evidence and/or bodies. At the moment, however, he'd be satisfied to get away from his freaky Jyosei roommate who kept hitting on him. Sanada-san and Yukimura-buchou made him promise no injuries off the court, so he broke the lock of an old storage room to get some privacy.

Besides, even Sanada-san didn't know about this particular hobby. No one but Yukimura-buchou did, and Kirihara preferred things that way.

He rummaged through his bag to remove his tools, delighting in the muted clash of metal against metal when he found them. They were an unusual specimen of the object, commissioned by Yukimura-buchou especially for Kirihara's tastes. He ran his fingers down their sleek, cold length to the sharp tip, idly wondering how hard he would have to throw them at a person before the wound was fatal--an experiment for another time, he supposed. Maybe if that snobby little Fudomine girl got in his face again.

Kirihara reminded himself that he wasn't supposed to be thinking of murder while he practiced. Yukimura-buchou suggested that he meditate and learn a sense of control over his more... extroverted tempers. This exercise was supposed to help. He breathed, deftly positioning his instruments, and began his training.

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"You broke the lock! Eiji, you could get in big trouble--"

"Nyah, Oishi, it was broken when I found it! But you should see all the stuff in here! All their old mats are just sitting around, and it's perfect for acrobatic training." Eiji tugged him back toward the door. Oishi doubted any place as small as a storage room could be sufficiently large for the acrobat's unique moves, but Eiji was so very excited about this. Besides, Eiji trained better if he had a friendly audience and proper motivation, and Oishi was adept at being both.

Eiji opened the door, giggling. The two of them slipped inside, turned towards the wall, and froze.

As a tennis player in the Kanto region, Oishi had seen many strange things. Tennis balls regularly defied the laws of physics to break through racquet strings and dent pavement. Players performed acrobatic stunts that made the jaws of Olympic gymnasts drop. He'd played against middle schoolers who looked like they'd been popping steroids since they were old enough to swallow them. However, he had never been half as shocked as when his eyes fell on the storage room's other occupant.

"Kirihara-kun," he began nervously, "are you ..._knitting_?"

Rikkaidai's youngest player flew to his feet, a ball of red yarn dropping off his lap and rolling behind a nearby mat as he did so. He pointed the knitting needles menacingly at the Golden Pair. Admittedly, the menace would have been enhanced were the train of yarn not still dangling from the ends. "It's training! Yukimura-buchou makes me do it to work on my dexterity! And if you say one word about it, I'll shove these needles so far up your--"

"Hoi, hoi!" Eiji intervened, holding up both hands. Oh please let Eiji not taunt him right now. Oishi did not want to hear the end of that sentence. "We would never try to embarrass you, Kirihara-kun."

Kirihara's hands lowered a few centimeters. "You'd better not. Cuz I can serve a tennis ball with enough force to shatter a human kneecap."

Eiji nodded sagely, but Oishi could see the giggle fit bubbling up inside him. He put a warning hand on Eiji's arm, but he had a sinking feeling the situation was beyond his control. He made a silent prayer that Eiji would let them slip away this once. _Pleasedon't pleasedon'tpleasedon't..._

But Eiji's eyes sparkled as he snickered, "Besides, it's a very nice muffler. Is it for one of your senpai?"

Kirihara launched himself in a blur of red eyes and yarn at the acrobat. Oishi had just one instinct in such a situation: protect Eiji. With reflexes born of long practices with Kikumaru, his hand flew up to snatch the needles out of Kirhara's hand, pulling back on the trail of yarn to entangle his legs and sending him sprawling at Eiji's feet. People really shouldn't forget that the Golden Pair was in fact a _pair_, i.e. _two_ people.

"Ow," the pile of yarn and limbs that was Kirihara mumbled.

Oishi checked: normal, green eyes. He'd been a little worried the fall might have intensified his anger, but he guessed surprise had knocked the demon out of him for once.

"Eiji and I would never dream of spreading rumors, Kirihara-kun. I hope your training goes well, and good luck in your next match." He grabbed Eiji by the elbow and spun them both out the door before Kirihara could fully recover.

Striding briskly down the hall, Oishi realized that Eiji was still laughing.

"_Ei-ji, _that was not funny."

"_Please_, can I tell Fujiko? _Please!_"

"No!" The tensai would make sure every person at Senbatsu knew about Kirhara's hobby, and then Kirihara would come in the night to destroy them both. Maybe he wouldn't even wait until the night.

"But, Oishi, that was awesome!" Kikumaru mimed grabbing knitting needles and tripping Kirihara in a way that looked more like a knock-out punch and twirling a lasso. Oh, this rumor could get out of hand far too fast. He felt himself blush.

"No."

"How about Fudomine? Can I tell Fudomine? It'd make Kamio-kun feel better."

Oishi knew his only hope was to distract Eiji from the matter as quickly as possible. "I will let you tell _one_ person if you make the selection."

"Really? You promise?" Eiji's blue eyes beamed with excitement, but still searched Oishi to make sure he wasn't just trying to distract him. Maybe he'd forget about it by the time the camp was over. Not very likely though. At least he could make him wait until they were several dozen kilometers out of Kirihara's range. Oishi nodded.

"Hoi! Hoi! You promised!" He grabbed Oishi in a hug that made the whole Kirihara business worth it. "Thank you for saving me. Let's go play tennis!"

The fukubuchou sighed as he followed a skipping Eiji down to the courts. Life in the Seigaku tennis team certainly kept him busy.

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_A/N: Just realized that I had Kirihara make a muffler which is just Japanese terminology for a scarf. He's not knitting car parts. I'm stealing the word and the idea from Pretty Guardian ... and I'm okay with admitting that now._


	6. 6: Sibling Issues

_**Gather, Chapter 6**_

_**Chapter**: Sibling Issues _or _Not What You Think_

_**Author**: EllipsesBandit..._

_**Disclaimer**: Konomi Takeshi owns and should be held responsible for Prince of Tennis_

_**Rating**: T for innuendo_

_**Pairings:** Very slight mention of Duck Sushi. Seriously nothing else. Just read._

_**Summary:** Wakato thinks there is something really weird about the brothers Kisarazu. Find out the real reason Atsushi left Rokkaku._

_A/N: I like to think of myself as a pretty groovy person, and I'm honestly not trying to throw stones at anyone (I read too much Kaori Yuki to do that), but I do have some severe problems with incest fics. It's just ... eew, no, not my thing. I get the feeling the various siblings in Tenipuri would be with me on this one. (If you disagree, I suggest you skip this chapter. There's no actual plot you'll be missing) So this is my present for the brothers Kisarazu who I don't believe deserve such a bad rap._

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Wakato was bored. Senbatsu had been noting but a drag since he'd gotten off the bus, and his roommate wasn't making things any easier. With all the cool people at this camp, he had to get stuck with a Rokkaku guy. Rokkaku had no style. Rokkaku had a honeycomb theme. Who did bee themes? ...well, besides Rikkaidai.

The imitation specialist lay flopped on his bed. Technically, lights out had begun an hour ago, but he wasn't tired. He blew some of the hair out of his eyes, glancing at where Kisarazu Ryoh sat hunched over a desk. The Rokkaku boy hadn't moved from the desk in some time, slowly writing something with a fat permanent marker. Whenever Wakato tried to see, he covered the signs with some nearby papers. After unsuccessfully playing this game for about twenty minutes, Wakato decided to try a different tactic.

"You wanna go pick up some girls?" he asked.

Kisarazu turned to stare at him for the first time since they'd been introduced, eyes narrowed and cold. "No," he said flatly.

Wakato had thought so, but it was usually safer to check. He tried again. "You wanna go pick up some guys?"

That stare again, dropping in temperature by about 12 degrees. "No."

"Oh," Wakato crooned, sitting up to smirk at the dark-haired boy. "You've got someone already then." In Wakato's mind, it was the only logical reason not to go out during a golden opportunity like Senbatsu. Personally, he considered getting attached to someone at fifteen a little hasty, especially when you were as pretty and charming as he was. "Who is it then? Saeki, right? Gotta be. He's got great hair." Wakato removed his hat, adjusting his hair into more of Saeki's tousled look and assumed a serving stance.

Kisarazu ignored the comment. "Look, I have to get ready for my match tomorrow, so could you just not talk for a while?"

Wakato's features relaxed back into himself again. "You're getting ready for a match?" Maybe he was preparing cheering signs, though he didn't seem the type. Also, in Wakato's experience, fangirls prepared their own signs, though a little guidance never hurt. "Who are you playing?"

"My brother."

Wakato tilted his head. Honestly, he hadn't paid much attention to either of the Kisarazus during practice. "Is it really going to be that tough of a match?"  
"You have no idea."

"This isn't one of those sibling rivalry things, is it? Brothers driven apart by the harsh reality of competition?" Surely, one Fuji family melodrama per camp was enough.

"Not exactly. Look, I really don't want to talk about it." He turned to hide behind his curtain of indigo hair.

"So you fought over something else, then?" Kisarazu was silent, though he was clutching his marker a little tighter. Maybe they were like Youhei and Kouhei. Jyosei's twins acted like a perfect doubles team on the court, then proceeded to fight like rabid hamsters the moment the game was over. They fought over not ordering the same thing at lunch, over whose hair conditioner was better, over who the judo team captain was winking at. Ooh, that was an idea. "Or over someone else?"

"We didn't fight!" Kisarazu snapped, then looked awkward for snapping. He pulled his cap down. "Look, Atsushi and I get along fine. It's just, a little awkward between us right now, and things get more awkward if we play against each other."

_Awkward?_ He couldn't possibly mean ...He wouldn't just say ... "So you guys don't go to the same school because..."

"It's awkward. Now excuse me. I have to get ready."

Wakato began slowly backing away from the Rokkaku boy. No way. Absolutely no way. Just ...eew. No. "I...I'm gonna go see how Kajimoto's doing," he stuttered weakly. Kisarazu nodded, but didn't look up. Wakato bolted out the door. He could chill in Kajimoto's or Shinjiou's room tonight. They wouldn't mind. Kajimoto probably wasn't even using his room.

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"Ore-sama thinks that you are an idiot."

"I'm telling you that's what he said! I couldn't make up stuff like this! He said things between them were 'awkward.'" Here, Wakato tilted his head and pitched his voice in a near-perfect impression. "What do _you_ think it means." He crossed his arms.

"Ore-sama thinks that you are an idiot who enjoys spreading rumors."

"I also think it is rude to spread rumors about other people on the team. Even though we are competing against each other, that doesn't make it okay for people to sink as low as slandering another person's name, especially when Wakato-kun has already proven that he is not a good listener and only likes to talk about himself so how could he possibly interpret someone else discussing their family with him especially since he does not have a brother of his own. I do not have a brother either, though sometimes I think it might be nice to have a sibling since siblings are supposed to be good listeners and no one has ever really..."

Ibu kept mumbling, but none of the other members on Hanamura's team paid any attention to him.

"Wakato, I'm sure you're over-reacting," Shinjiou droned. Well Shinjiou barely reacted to anything so how would he know what over-reacting meant?

"He was talking about it like it was a break-up, and it was his brother!"

"Brothers in arms," Amane snickered.

A moment of silence at the entrance of Kisarazu's teammate. Then, Atobe snapped his fingers and ordered, "Kabaji."

"Usu."

Amane thumped to the ground under the force of Kabaji's fist. His lips looked like they were still trying to form a pun.

Wakato sighed. "What'd you do that for? They're on the same team! He could have given us some info."

"There is no info, Wakato," Shinjiou insisted. "Just puns. Leave it be."

"Shut up! Here they come!"

The two approached from opposite ends of the court, not noticing or ignoring the stares their teammates gave them. They also avoided directly looking at each other, though Wakato did notice the two had markedly similar strides. Were it not for the length of their hair and Atsushi's ribbons, Wakato would never have been able to tell them apart. Still, even with his rather exceptional perceptive abilities, Wakato was unable to determine anything odd about their manner. He did percieve that they were both carrying rather large backpacks that day--easily large enough to hold the signs Ryoh had been making last night.

The two warmed up together without anything outside of a normal sibling relationship. Surreptitiously, Wakato crept closer for further study. His teammates collectively rolled their eyes.

Wakato growled. "Just wait."

Eventually, Hanamura-sensei directed the twins to the court. For a moment, their eyes met in a shared look of ... fear? They looked afraid. Wakato added that to his mental notes.

Ryoh opened the gate to the courts, entering like a deer enters a meadow where he has seen hunters before. Atsushi followed in a similar manner.

Having reached their positions, the two breathed a little more. Atsushi called out, "It's been a while, Aniki."

Ryoh smiled, looking a little more relaxed. "Let's see if you can beat me yet." He raised his arm to serve...

...and promptly dropped the ball at the first high-pitched, feminine cry of, "Ryoh-kuuuuuuuuun! Kawaii!"

"Atsushi-kun! Over here!"

"They're playing each other again! Sugoi!"

"It's the beauty of forbidden love!"

The Senbatsu members turned their head to where a crowd of girls had materialized on the opposite side of the court. "What is going on?" Atobe frowned. "Do we not have security on this campus?"

Meanwhile, a panting troupe of ichinen ran up to Hanamura-sensei, frantically attempting to explain how the stampede had made it this far into the camp without detection. Now that they had, there seemed to be no way of removing them. Wakato watched the scene unfold in amazement.

Both the Kisarazus had lowered their heads. "God, Shinya's going to kill me," Atsushi mumbled.

"How do they find us?" Ryoh groaned. "How do they always find us?"  
The two walked over towards the court's entrance where the two backpacks lay innocently against the chain link fence. Both removed several large signboards that had been folded up inside. Wakato had to dash around the side to make out what was written before they hooked them quickly on the fence, blocking the fangirls' view. They mashed several fingers in doing so. He read:

_Twins Against Twincest!_

_Twincest is Wrong!_

_We're Just Playing Tennis, People!_

Atobe had still not adjusted to the influx of people. "What are they gawking at? Ore-sama is over here."

"I'd really hoped to avoid this kind of people at an exclusive camp like this. Shouting all the time can disrupt a person's concentration and make important tennis matches very difficult. People shouted the whole way through the match with Echizen which caused him to lose focus and not dodge when the racquet splinters hit his eye. That's the real reason he hurt his eye, even though everyone still blames me for it..."

"I've heard of people like this," Wakato mumbled. It had happened at Jyosei freshmen year once or twice. Hanamura-sensei's facility, however, now boasted much more security, and no one outside of players and press were allowed inside. "Unbelievable. Did this happen at Rokkaku all the time?"

"Fan-girling the flames of fan-tasy," Amane managed, rising from his slumped position.

"Kabaji." _Snap._

"Usu."

Amane returned to his slumped position.

Atsushi and Ryoh stared at the fangirls now crushing each other to get a better view beyond the twins' signs and still squealing every time the two exchanged a glance. "I guess we better just finish the match and be done," Ryoh sighed.

"Yeah."

"Then I'll see you at Christmas or something?"

"Yeah, sounds good." They continued their match, doing a marvelous job of blocking out the shrieks.

"Ore-sama would like to point out that you are an idiot."

"Shut up."

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_A/N: I did steal the two signs the boys hold up from a photo I saw of the people who play the Weasley twins in the Harry Potter films holding up at a press conference. Fred and George agree with me, and I hope they won't mind me borrowing their slogan. Anyway, review if you've got a minute. Next up: Some good old-fashioned Silver Pair and Inukai!  
_


	7. 7: Hostage Situation

_**Gather, Chapter 7  
**_

_Chapter Title: Hostage Situation or Ohtori Takes Action_

_ Author: The Ellipses Bandit..._

_Disclaimer: Still Konomi's characters, sadly_

_Rating: T for shounen-ai fluff_

_Pairings: Silver Pair, InuKai, slight TezFuji_

_Summary: Kaidoh and Inui have a fight. Ohtori offers his assistance, and the EllipsesBandit... smacks Renji with a stick... again._

_A/N: So I have a theory over how sweet, little Choutarou survives at a cutthroat school like Hyotei. My own personal crackfic desigined to show that and destroy Renji. _

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Kaidoh did not mean to take Ohtori hostage.

He hadn't been thinking much of anything when he burst into the room. All coherent thought dissipated when Kaidoh returned from his jog to see Inui-senpai in their room, talking -- _smiling_ and talking -- with that slimy weasel of a Rikkai player. Too much steam built up too quickly inside Kaidoh for him to hiss it away, so instead he stormed out of the room and grabbed the handle of the first open door he found. Inui-senpai's shouts resounded outside the room as Kaidoh locked the door behind him.

Only after the red mist lifted from his eyes did Kaidoh notice the room was occupied.

Ohtori Choutarou sat on one of the beds, a thick textbook open on his lap, staring quizzically at the intruder. Kaidoh looked at the door in embarassment, then back to Ohtori. Not knowing anything else to do, he bowed low and said, "Excuse me. May I borrow your room for a moment."

"Uh..." Ohtori blinked.

Inui-senpai pounded on the door outside. "Kaidoh! That isn't even your room!"

"Just until he goes away," Kaidoh added, still not rising from his bow.

Ohtori's stare kept its resemblance to a deer in the face of an oncoming semi-truck. "I ... suppose."

"Thank you." Kaidoh sat down against the door, arms crossed. The pounding outside continued, but he made no attempt to explain it. Maybe the Hyotei player would just ignore him and Kaidoh could stew peacefully until Inui-senpai gave up.

Of course, this was not to be.

"Uh... is everything okay?" Ohtori asked, closing his textbook.

Okay? Nothing had been okay since they got to this stupid camp. Yanagi crept over to their table to eat with them at dinner. Yanagi slunk into their room to borrow items. Yanagi wormed his way into playing doubles with Inui-senpai. Yanagi was everywhere here. How was Kaidoh supposed to be okay? All this ran through Kaidoh's head. Out loud, he merely said, "Fshuuuuuuuu."

Ohtori nodded. "So that is your doubles partner out there."

Now Kaidoh blinked up in suspicion. What did the Hyotei player care?  
Ohtori shrugged, smiling. "I kind of recognize that expression. Shishido-san looks like that whenever Taki-senpai steps onto a court." Ohtori closed his book, slipping off the bed and moving towards the door. He listened to a mix of voices from outside. "He's probably not going to be too pleased when he can't get into the room."

"Sumimasen," Kaidoh managed. He'd leave if Ohtori asked him to, but he really didn't think he could get through the door without punching someone and that would get him expelled from the camp which would leave Inui-senpai alone with Yanagi.

"Don't mind," Ohtori smiled. "I understand."

"Kaidoh! He just came over to borrow a pencil sharpener."

"Baka," Kaidoh mumbled. As if someone as anal retentive as Yanagi would forget a pencil sharpener.

Ohtori slid down against the door, sitting next to Kaidoh. "You do realize what you have to do, right?"

Automatically, Kaidoh scooted a few inches away, disliking being that close to someone he barely knew. And what right did someone he barely knew have to give him relationship advice? Annoyed, he asked, "Are you going to tell me to talk things out with him?" Ohtori seemed the type. The Silver Pair might as well be holding hands the entire camp for all the discretion they showed. The idea, however, would never work. Maybe there was a logical explanation, but Inui-senpai never talked about Yanagi, no matter how much Kaidoh hinted. If that was all the advice Ohtori had to offer, he could save his breath because--

"Of course not. It's way too soon for that."

Kaidoh raised an eyebrow.

"Right now is the time for action. You have to make things perfectly clear to your doubles partner and whoever's getting in the way just where you stand on this issue." Ohtori said all this with the smile of a seven-year-old asking for extra dessert in the school lunch line.

Kaidoh frowned. "How do I do that?"

"Easy," Ohtori beamed. "You make an example."

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"Kaidoh! That isn't even your room!" Inui shouted. The doors were only 2cm thick; thus, the second year should clearly be able to hear every word. According to the data, this room belonged to Hyotei's Shishido and Ohtori doubles team. Since the door was unlocked when Kaidoh entered, someone else had to be in the room. Seeing as Inui heard no sounds of a fist fight, there was a zero percent chance that person was Shishido, so Kaidoh was alone with Ohtori.

Inui had collected a good deal of data on Hyotei. He did not want Kaidoh getting any ideas from Ohtori.

Bad enough that he'd miscalculated the duration of Kaidoh's evening jog. He hadn't factored in that Kaidoh would complete his run 2.4 minutes faster than usual to ease his paranoia about Renji's proximity. 2.4 minutes and this complication could have been avoided.

Meanwhile, Renji decided to tag along for the show, standing twenty centimeters over the comfort limit Inui had designated. "Really, Sadaharu, I think it would be best if we left him alone for a bit," he commented idly. "I'm sure he'll calm down if you give him some space."

Space was exactly the problem between Inui and Kaidoh right now: two centimeters of space occupied by a rectangular block of wood. Still, he couldn't tell Renji to push off either. This whole situation was spiraling outside Inui's scenario. Situations involving Kaidoh tended to do that. Inui chose to ignore Renji and continue knocking on the door. There was only a 5 percent chance Kaidoh would open it, but there was an 90 percent chance that Kaidoh would feel abandoned if Inui left at this point.

"Kaidoh! He just came over to borrow a pencil sharpener." Not that Kaidoh would buy that excuse anymore than Inui did. But there was no time for this. The Silver Pair had not been separated more than nine and a half minutes the entire camp, and even given his most optimistic estimate, Inui had less than three minutes to --

"The hell are you people doing trying to get into my room?"

Or he could have less than that.

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Shishido was not going to leave Choutarou alone again for the duration of this camp. He'd been gone five minutes to get them some juice from the vending machines, and there were two perverts trying to break down the door. He resisted the urge to throttle them both, but only barely.

"Pardon us," Yanagi said. "There's been something of a misunderstanding. We were just leaving." He grabbed Inui's arm, though was promptly detached.

"My roommate is inside," Inui stated. "If you'd be so kind as to open the door, we'd be happy to go."

Shishido rolled his eyes, walking to the door and reaching in his pocket for the key ... that was inside his warm up jacket in the room. Damn it. "Oy, Choutarou! It's me, open up."

He did not expect the soft, "Sorry, Shishido-san. Kaidoh-kun and I are a little busy right now. Could you give us a few minutes?"

Shishido blinked. "What?"

"Just a few minutes, Shishido-san. Thank you." Ohtori answered brightly. Shishido was still having trouble processing the idea that Ohtori did not want him in the room. The last time Ohtori had asked for some privacy in that voice had been right after the party where that girl had tried to braid Shishido's hair and ...

Oh no.

Shishido whirled on the intruders. "What the hell did you do?"

The Rikkai player shrugged his shoulders. "Kaidoh-kun appears to be having some emotional issues. Sadaharu and I were having a simple conversation, and he reacted--"

"You know what? Nevermind, I don't care about your drama. Just leave so I can get back in my room." Maybe if these two got lost, Choutarou would at least let him in. Then, he could figure out what exactly had pissed Ohtori off to this level.

"I would like to do that." Inui adjusted his glasses, glowering at Yanagi. "As soon as my roommate leaves."

Inui stepped a little closer, straightening his spine. Shishido assessed him. Inui was bigger than he was, sure, but he was pretty nerdy overall. He'd probably never been in a fight in his life and definitely wouldn't be able to react quickly. If necessary, Shishido figured he could take him. He held himself up as high as he could manage, glaring through those bizarre glasses.

Yanagi stepped between them. "Gentlemen, there's really no cause for this. Sadaharu, we should leave. Kaidoh-kun clearly has some problems he needs to work out. Surely you've realized that by now."

Inui's eyebrows narrowed. "Realized what?"

Yanagi sighed. "Anyone can see from Kaidoh's behavioral patterns that he is simply not emotionally mature enough for you. You're better off leaving right now."

Still braced for a fight, Shishido noticed Inui's fist clench around an aqua water bottle in his hand. "I'll take that into consideration. Would you care for a drink?"

Yanagi laughed, a sound a little like a ferret coughing. "Thank you, but no. I did bring my own beverage." The boy unscrewed the cap of a juice bottle. Shishido was a little annoyed that it was the same brand he'd bought for himself and Choutarou. He'd have to switch. No way he'd be caught having the same tastes as someone from the Rikkai freak show.

Especially not if this particular brand of juice made your eyes roll back into your head like that and dropped you drooling to the floor.

----------------------------------------------------------

"Where are we going to get that much grip tape?" Kaidoh asked, frowning at the clipboard Ohtori was making marginal notes on.

"Oshitari-senpai usually brings a great deal extra. I'm sure we can borrow some."

Kaidoh furrowed his brow, observing the intricate flow-chart Ohtori designed. He was beginning to feel somewhat nervous about being locked in a room with this person. He'd always wondered how someone as outwardly meek and naive as Ohtori made it at a school as notoriously competitive as Hyotei. Now he knew.

He also knew that Ohtori had some very creative solutions to relationship problems. "And what day do they take out the garbage?"

"Not until Thursday. We have plenty of time."

Kaidoh glanced at the list of materials that would need to be acquired before Thursday.

"What's the turkey baster for again?"

Ohtori flipped the notebook to the illustrated sections.

"Oh. Right." _Very _creative ideas.

"And don't worry about getting caught. As long as we keep our alibi, we should be fine. As future captains, it makes perfect sense for us to train together, don't you think?

Kaidoh nodded hesitantly. Hyotei was not going to lose any of its edge with Ohtori as captain. Next year would be interesting.

"So all that's left to do is ..."

A loud thump resounded from outside the door. Spending as much time in the company of Inui-senpai and his array of deadly beverages as he did, Kaidoh immediately recognized the sound of a body slumping to the ground. He and Ohtori looked at each other quizzically before standing up. Moving as if the hallway beyond might be filled with poisonous gas, Kaidoh opened the door.

Kaidoh took in the unconscious Yanagi lying next to a puddle of orange-colored juice, the slack-jawed Shishido, and the smirking Inui-senpai before Shishido dropped the two bottles of juice he'd been holding.

"I assure you, yours are perfectly safe," Inui stated picking up the bottle next to Yanagi before more could leak. The spill appeared to be eating away at the floorboards.

"Safe? You call that safe!" Shishido darted between Inui and Ohtori, as if fearful the juice might trickle into their room.

"I only altered the fourth juice bottle in the vending machine," Inui explained. He turned his attention to Kaidoh. "My apologies. I needed to spend some time with Renji to establish his patterns and calculate when he'd be most likely to use the vending machine. It also took some time to develop an odorless juice that maintained its effectiveness. I would have told you, but there was a 64 percent chance Renji would have some means of overhearing our conversations."

Kaidoh had not quite gotten back his powers of speech.

"Is he dead?" Ohtori asked, one hand covering his mouth.

"He'll be fine by the morning," Inui breezed. "Though the side effects do drop his chances of making the selection by about 15 percent."

Kaidoh looked up at Inui-senpai, whose posture slouched a little, almost embarrassed, as if he wasn't sure how Kaidoh would react to this development. "I believe he will leave us alone now."

Ohtori took a deep breath, either relieved or disappointed; Kaidoh couldn't tell. "The two of you should probably find a coach or the janitor to clean up."

Inui nodded, bowing to Ohtori and the still wary Shishido. "Pardon our intrusion." He looked uncertainly at Kaidoh who turned to repeat the gesture.

"Thank you for your help anyway, Ohtori-san," Kaidoh managed.

Ohtori smiled and returned the bow. "I look forward to playing you next year." Kaidoh stepped nimbly over Yanagi's limp form to follow Inui-senpai down the hall.

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"Choutarou?"

"Yes, Shishido-san?" The second year blinked up at him with innocent brown eyes. That was _not _going to work.

"Is that a flow chart?"

"Only a little one."

Shishido sighed, ushering Choutarou back in the room and locking the door. "I can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?"  
"No." Choutarou latched onto his arm, smiling that smile that made Shishido forget everything from tennis to his hair to unconscious Rikkai players outside their door.

Hell, it was only a little flow chart.

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Inui-senpai pulled Kaidoh into the stairwell, spinning him into their first real kiss since Senbatsu began. Kaidoh almost didn't hear the throat clearing from just above them.

He felt the color drain from his face under the disapproving stare of his captain.

Tezuka put one hand on his forehead. "The two of you were given a room. I suggest you make use of it." Tezuka then passed them, entering the hallway they had just left.

Kaidoh blinked in confusion. "Inui-senpai?"

"Hm?"  
"Why aren't we running laps right now?"

Inui-senpai smiled, adjusting his glasses again. "Because, Kaidoh, Tezuka can be stern, but he is not a hypocrite."

It took Kaidoh a few moments to remember that Fuji-senpai's room was in the same hall as his.

"Come on. We should find the janitor before Tezuka asks us about the body."

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_A/N: Next up is some FujiTezSae triangle fun, so stay tuned! Also, by popular demand I'm doing a sequel to Gaming no Ohjisama. Fear the card game. Thank all for reviewing! And thanks Microgirl for always knowing exactly what Shishido would say. _


	8. 8: Ancient History

_**Gather, Chapter 8**_

_Chapter Title: Ancient History or The Truth About Fuji and Saeki_

_Author: EllipsesBandit..._

_Disclaimer: Still all Konomi's fault_

_Rating: K+ for mild shounen-ai drama_

_Pairings: TezFuji, FujiSae_

_Summary: Tezuka learns the truth about Fuji and Saeki's past. Buchous do not get jealous._

_A/N: This'll be the last post for a couple of weeks as I'm off to Expo. Look for my Fudomyu group (I'm Shinji :)) Thanks to all my reviewers and my superbetas! Waffles Love!_

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"Awww," Fuji cooed. "That's so cute."

"You haven't changed one bit," Saeki sighed. Only Fuji Syusuke considered poisoning one's ex-boyfriend to impress one's current boyfriend "cute." For his own part, Saeki just found it extremely amusing and was somewhat glad there was one less person at Senbatsu he needed to worry about beating. He walked back to his bed and flopped down.

Fuji raised an eyebrow, closing the door the two of them had been spying through. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"That you have some twisted ideas about romance."

Fuji slid onto his own bed, resting his chin on one hand. "I've never had any complaints."

"Well who'd be dumb enough to complain? You have some _twisted_ ideas about romance," Saeki shrugged.

"Ooh, jealousy? Really?"

Saeki rolled his eyes. "Not jealousy. A little pity for Tezuka, but definitely not jealousy." Tezuka probably barely realized what he'd gotten himself into with Fuji. Then again, at the moment Saeki decided Tezuka deserved what he got. "Speaking of, what did you tell him about me?"

"What do you mean?" Fuji blinked innocently.

Saeki had known Fuji far too long to be fooled. "You know what I mean. He isn't even my coach and he's going out of his way to make sure I'm running extra laps. So what'd you tell him?"

Fuji's smile grew a fraction of an inch wider, making Saeki remember his reaction to the unconscious Rikkai player a few feet down the hall. "He can get a little protective. But I haven't told him anything."

"Well, maybe--" A knock on the door interrupted Saeki. Tezuka didn't bother to wait for an answer, but opened the door right away. A little protective, sure. Gold-green eyes locked on Saeki for a moment in suspicion, before darting to Fuji.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Mn. Let me just get my racquet." Fuji hopped off the bed, catching Saeki's eye as he grabbed his tennis bag. Saeki raised both eyebrows at him, trying to hint that Fuji needed to explain some things to Tezuka before the buchou forced Saeki to do laps around Japan. Fuji pretended not to notice and slipped out the door with a wave good night.

Saeki reached for his warm up jacket. Fuji was plotting something, and Saeki did not want to get stuck in the middle of it. Besides, it was a little late for tennis practice.

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Dealing with unconscious team members in the hallway was not in Tezuka's plans for the evening. Inui would be running a lot of laps tomorrow for making him late to pick up Fuji --particularly when Fuji was rooming with an "old friend."

Not that Tezuka felt suspicious of Fuji cheating on him. Cunning, manipulative, and deceptive as Fuji could be, he was also loyal to a fault. Generally, he executed his most intricate schemes to aid the people to whom he was so devoted, and Tezuka had been included in this group since long before they had become a couple.

However, Tezuka did feel suspicious of Fuji and Saeki coincidentally rooming at Senbatsu together. In his experience with the tensai, coincidence was a myth, and Saeki had a reputation for schemes that rivaled Fuji's. Tezuka did not want to deal with the headaches the two of them could cause in combination. He was most certainly not jealous; jealousy was illogical.

The two of them strolled out of the dormitories, not talking at the moment, just wandering in the general direction of the tennis courts, Fuji's hand occasionally brushing against the back of his. Fuji waited until they were out from under the glow of the dormitory's lights before hooking his arm through Tezuka's, leaning his head against his shoulder. "You sincerely want to play tennis?"

"Yes." Tezuka would never say it out loud, but he missed playing against Fuji. Taking Ryuzaki-sensei's place, he didn't even have time to watch Fuji play. Even if they couldn't play at full strength yet, Tezuka wanted a game. "One match. You can choose what we do after."

"Really?" Fuji's eyes opened, nearly glowing at the potential.

"Within reason."

Fuji sighed. "Hai, hai. As long as we leave Saeki alone for a bit."

Tezuka raised an eyebrow, sensing a trap. Fuji wouldn't normally mention Saeki while they were alone together. He didn't respond to the comment, but Fuji was used to conducting one-sided conversations with him.

"He's just been acting a little strange during this camp. I thought we'd be okay, but I guess we still have a few issues being together this much after all this time."

_Oh look, bait_, Tezuka thought, refusing to rise. Actually, he felt a little insulted. Usually, Fuji's attempts to drag him into awkward conversation were more subtle than this.

"But nothing's been the same since I broke off our engagement."

Tezuka stopped, nearly knocking Fuji over in the process. Damn it, Fuji had gotten him on the line anyway.

"I never told you?" Fuji asked, as if the tensai didn't have a memory that rivaled a herd of elephants.

"No."

"Oh, well it was a very long time ago." Fuji replaced his head on his shoulder, hugging his arm a little tighter as if thinking Tezuka might bolt during this conversation. Admittedly, a small part of him did want to find Saeki and punch him in the face, but he reminded himself the jealousy was undignified and probably exactly what Fuji wanted him to do. "But it ended rather badly, so suddenly rooming with him is a little awkward. I guess I haven't completely forgiven him yet."

Fuji paused, clearly waiting for Tezuka to sink that hook a little deeper. Tezuka sighed; he did know his line. "Forgiven him for what?"

"Stealing my bento."

Just when Tezuka thought he had one of Fuji's scripts figured out, he found out Fuji removed a few pages. "What?"

Fuji nodded earnestly. "It was a very special bento onee-chan made for me, and he took it when I got up to get a milk. I knew it was him because the bento when I got back to the table his eyes were watering and he was grabbing drinks out of other kids' hands." Fuji shrugged. "After that, I simply couldn't trust him anymore."

"Fuji," Tezuka fixed his glasses which had slipped in the shock. "How old were you?"

"Seven. Well, seven and a half, technically. He proposed to me on the jungle gym before school." Fuji looked up at him, blue eyes glinting with a smile. "So, jealousy abated?"

Tezuka pressed two fingers to his temple. "I was not jealous."

Fuji seemed about to correct him when a nearby hedge shouted, "Liar!"

Both the Seigaku players turned to the shrubbery from which emerged a leaf-covered Saeki who pointed an accusatory finger at Fuji. "I didn't steal that bento. _You_ planted it there! And then you replaced my juice bottle with tabasco!"

"I did?" Fuji frowned, deep in thought. After a pause he mumbled. "You know, I think I did. I wonder why I did that?"

Saeki let out an exasperated sigh. "You switched bentos because Yuki Saori and I were holding hands at recess."

Tezuka saw the transformation occur almost instantaneously and realized that his own part in this scene had been merely a supporting role. Fuji's eyes went from closed and smiling to open and dangerous, the color of the center of a flame. False smile became a victorious smirk and his arm snapped up to return the pointed finger at the Rokkaku boy. "So you admit it!"

Saeki blinked, falling back a few steps. "I-"

"I _knew_ it!"

"I meant to say because you _thought_ Yuki--"

"And you thought I'd never find out the truth! Well-"

Tezuka pinched the bridge of his nose where what had been a mild pulsing had built into a steady throb. He turned back to the dorms, leaving the childhood rivals squabbling on the footpath. Maybe Oishi would still be up and willing to play a quick game.


	9. 9: Patterns

_**Gather, Chapter 9**_

_Chapter Title: Patterns _or_ Even Tensai Have Problems_

_Author: EllipsesBandit..._

_Disclaimer: As you are probably aware by now, not my people._

_Rating: K+ for shounen-ai drama_

_  
Pairings: Quite a few mentioned, no romance actually included. Mostly TezFuji_

_Summary: For once the EllipsesBandit... is nice to Yuuta! Fuji's friends point out that even a tensai like him have some very predictable patterns when it comes to dating._

_A/N: Yay, I'm back! Sorry for the wait but I've been trawling through the western half of the U.S.I'm officially through with road-tripping. Forever. Anyway this fic was inspired by the fact that Konomi seems to be running out of character designs recently.Check out some of theTachibana flashbacks in Genius 311 if you don't believe me. Observe the hair._

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Yuuta could not remember the last time he'd laughed this hard. Originally, he only sat with his brother because Mizuki-san was being weird and touchy again. Mizuki-san had attempted to join the clique, but gave up with a scream that rivaled Akazawa-buchou's after the fourth time Aniki forgot his name. Yuuta just considered himself lucky Tezuka had been summoned to a meeting with the other coaches so Aniki remembered he existed. However, he'd forgotten that one of the few benefits to hanging out with Aniki and his Seigaku friends was that some of them could really twist Syusuke's shorts in a knot.

"Nyah, Fujiko," Kikumaru whined. "I'm just saying when you see them standing next to each other--"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Eiji." Aniki was pissed, but smiling and sipping at his water bottle like nothing was wrong.

"Probability that Fuji is well aware of his own patterns: 97 percent." Inui made some tick marks in his notebook.

Aniki shot him one of his infamous lazer stares. "I do not have patterns."

"Everyone has patterns, Fuji. The data doesn't lie."

"It's not a _bad_ thing," Kikumaru said quickly. "Really I'd never have thought of it if they weren't both standing next to each other at dismissal yesterday--"  
"Tezuka and Saeki do _not _have the same hair cut!" Syusuke snapped. Yuuta couldn't help but double over again. Very few people could annoy his aniki to this degree. He gained a new respect for both Kikumura and Inui.

"But it falls exactly the same around the face," Kikumaru pointed out. "And they both keep it short in the back."

"It's completely different." Aniki attempted to return to his pre-made bento, stabbing at a roll.

Yuuta knew he'd have to watch for traps during his visits for the next couple months, but he couldn't resist adding his own information. "Tachibana used to have the same hair cut."

Syusuke whipped around to glower at Yuuta. Maybe more than a couple of months. Kikumaru looked at him, wide-eyed. He'd probably just noticed Yuuta was there. "He did? Nyah, Fujiko! You never told me that!"

"We don't discuss that time, Eiji," Syusuke seethed.

"Tachibana's hair had 10 percent more volume than either Tezuka or Saeki, but the length is very similar."  
"They broke up right after he cut it," Yuuta added, ignoring his aniki's fierce glare.

"We broke up because he was rebounding from some guy from Shitenhouji. His hair was completely irrelevant." Yuuta swore he could feel a burning sensation near his jugular. Still, he'd lived with Aniki long enough to avoid most of his plots.

Inui meanwhile had been adding up columns of numbers, occasionally muttering to himself. "All three have similar color tones as well. Interesting."

"Not interesting. They're completely different."

"Really Saeki isn't blonde," Kikumaru pointed out. The acrobatics specialist looked more than a little wary and eager to soothe his friend's wrath. "His hair's more white."

"Platinum," Inui insisted.

"Saeki shouldn't even count. We were seven!"

Inui made a few more scribbles. "It just proves how early this fixation began."

"I do _not_ have a fixation!" Yuuta caught a glimpse of Fuji repositioning his hold on his chopsticks. He now held them like they had seen a kung fu master in a movie do right before he used them to disembowel a henchman. Yuuta kept snickering, but poised his feet to bolt for the nearest exit if necessary.

"One hundred percent conformity to the patterns in a seven year period. I believe, Fuji, that your preferences are by now well-established."

"That's it!" Fuji slammed one hand on the table, flying to his feet and earning the attention of most of the other occupants of the cafeteria. He pointed his chopsticks at Inui. "Ex-boyfriend with a penchant for bowl-cuts. Current boyfriend who hides his hair under a bandana half the time."

"48 percent," Inui corrected. "He is not permitted to wear it during school or at home and does not wear it while asleep."

"And I respect people's privacy enough to not ask you how you know that."

Yuuta couldn't help but snort at this comment, making Fuji whirl on him. "You spend all your time with a manager who has enough wax in his hair to polish this cafeteria floor for the rest of the year."

Yuuta jumped, "Hey, I'm not dating Mizuki-san."

"And it better stay that way. And as for you, Eiji" --Fuji snapped around to a half-amused and half-startled Kikumaru -- "I respect Oishi a great deal, but his head bears a certain resemblance to an eight-ball with fangs."

Kikumaru gave into the giggles, "Well, yeah, but in a cute way!"

"And you are certainly entitled to your opinion. But none of you are permitted to question my personal preferences in hair style." Fuji smoothed his jersey, seemingly oblivious to the gaping jaws around the room, some of which belonged to people involved in the rant. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going up to my room to finish lunch. And I'd like to remind you all that I know where each of you sleep and where you keep your hair products." He smiled beatifically down at them, picked up his bento and headed for the door.

"Ne, Inui, he wouldn't warn us if he was really going to do something to our shampoo, right?" Kikumaru asked, tugging nervously on one lock of red hair as if the tensai could have already gotten to it.

"Actually," Yuuta interjected, "his favorite trick is to warn you he's going to do something, watch you set up every precaution, and then manage to pull it off anyway."

Inui nodded, confirming Yuuta's statement. "As you have the most experience in such affairs, what do you suggest as the best method for avoiding this particular vengeance."

A smirk crossed Yuuta's face. "Steal Tezuka's shampoo. He wouldn't dare touch that."

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_Next up is the Revenge of Gaming no Ohjisama, which might be the last chapter in the series for a while. Thanks everyone for reading and especially my beta gals for patting me on the shoulder and occasionally buying me ice cream. _


	10. 10: The Revenge

_**Gather, Chapter 10**_

_Chapter Title: The Revenge of Gaming no Ohjisama _or_ When Atobe and Sanada Get Really, Really Bored_

_Author: EllipsesBandit..._

_Disclaimer: The game is mine. The show is not._

_Rating: K_

_Pairings: Alluded to but again no romance. Bit of SanaYuki, TezuFuji, and AtoJi_

_Summary: Sengoku decides to help Sanada and Atobe determine which one really is good enough to be Tezuka's rival._

_A/N: You all asked for it, and I couldn't resist. Enjoy the continuing adventures of Gaming no Ohjisama. Feel free to play along at home. All you need are some index cards, a pen, a color printer, and about twenty ink cartridges. Annoy your non-Tenipuri friends! Weight your favorite characters! Make Tezuka and Fuji play doubles! Just be careful to not get sued._

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Sanada didn't hate Atobe. Sanada didn't hate many people as that seemed to require too much of an emotional investment. Instead, Sanada found a stoic apathy the best defense against people who annoyed him. That, or a quick game of tennis -- usually, _very_ quick. What bothered Sanada about Atobe was that the flamboyant buchou seemed utterly immune to his usual tactics. Also, Sanada had not technically beaten him yet.

Renji told him he was behaving like a seven-year-old enough that Sanada was aware of how the rest of his teammates might be perceiving him, but after the unsatisfactory match he was determined to crush Hyotei at something. Who knew tennis skills could translate to foosball?

"Hametsu e no Rondo!" Atobe shouted. Sanada had no idea how that worked but the ball hit him in the wrist before flying up and into an air duct.

"That's the fourth one, Atobe," Sanada growled.

"Well that flaming move of yours nearly blinded poor Shishido," Atobe shrugged as if this statement was some sort of logical counterpoint.

"It's called Invade Like Fire," Renji stated, marking something in his notebook.

"As ore-sama said."

"I'm fine!" Shishido snapped from where Ohtori was holding an ice pack over a very purple left eye.

"Kabaji, another ball."

"Usu."

The hulking second year reached for another ball but found nothing on the table. Blinking slowly, he rotated back towards Atobe. "Do not disappoint ore-sama by saying there are no more."

Kabaji didn't, remaining silent.

"We'll have to play something else then," Atobe huffed, looking around the dorm's game room.

Sanada sighed. "What do you suggest this time?" Ping Pong had already proven too dangerous for innocent bystanders, and Atobe refused to slum around the town looking for a billiards hall. Honestly, Sanada couldn't wait till this competition was over so he could go to bed -- not that he'd quit.

"I know a game." Without warning, Sengoku's head popped up from behind the room's sole couch. "Just learned it. And it doesn't even have projectiles in it so you can't get in trouble with the coaches." He smiled, bright and good-natured. Sanada didn't trust people with good-natured smiles; he played on Yukimura's team.

Atobe raised an eyebrow. "Some other form of peasant entertainment?"

Sengoku laughed. "You could say that. Oi, Dan-kun!"

Dan Taichi had been attempting to slip unnoticed past the game room with an arm load of towels. At his senpai's call, he threw most of the towels into the air, several of them landing on his head and making his attentive posture slightly less credible as he shouted, "Hai, desu!"

"Where'd you guys leave those cards?"

Sengoku was quite proud of the ichinen. In the short time since he'd learned the game, they'd made a number of improvements in balancing the cards. Additionally, most of the cards now featured a photo image of the player, donated by Tachibana's little sister in exchange for a discount on the first set once he got them printed up. At the moment, the photos were still taped on.

"This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of," Sanada stated, staring at his hand. The comment might have had more to do with the contents of Sanada's hand than any actual disdain for the game, though.

"For once, ore-sama agrees with you." However, Atobe was staring at Sanada's cards through his Insight pose. Sengoku decided he never wanted to play poker with Hyotei's buchou.

"Oh, quit whining and draw." Sengoku cleared his throat. "The best of one set match. Atobe, service play."

Atobe rolled his eyes, flipping over a card from his deck and sniffing disdainfully. "Oh, this should be fun. Kirihara Akaya. Power 9, Accuracy 8, Speed 8."

Sanada glared at him under his baseball hat. "Versus Akutagawa Jiroh. Power 7, Accuracy 9, Speed 6." Around the room, various Hyotei players tried to nonchalantly glance at the stats. Sanada read the fine print. "Speed increases to 8 if opponent has higher total. And I will activate Magic Volley for an addition 3 points."

Atobe smirked. "You win."

Sengoku frowned, glancing at Atobe's cards. "Atobe-san, you can activate Demonic Possession to increase your power by four. And you've got some injury cards that are worth double if played by Kirihara."

The smirk stayed in place. "Ore-sama knows how this match would play out. Any counters Rikkai's little pet could come up with wouldn't be enough to defeat Jiroh."

Yanagi took three steps away from his fukubuchou. Sengoku copied the move, implaccable smile now somewhat nervous, while the ichinen, who had been huddled in a corner, whimpered. Shishido and Ohtori moved behind the couch, apparently using it as some kind of protective shield.

Meanwhile, Sanada held his stoic expression, though perhaps a spark of red flickered in his eyes. Sengoku couldn't be sure from the distance he now stood at. "Very well," Sanada stated, sweeping the players into his win pile. He turned over the next card and emitted a sound that was either an ironic laugh or meant he had some phlegm in his throat. "Tezuka Kunimitsu: Ten, ten, ten."

Atobe didn't turn over his own card, simply stared at the Tezuka one for a moment, eyebrows narrowed. Without warning, Atobe grabbed the draw deck and began flipping through it's contents.

"Ah... Atobe-san," Sengoku attempted. "You're really not supposed to look at the deck before--"

"Ha!" Atobe pulled his own card from the deck. "Nine, ten, nine!" he exclaimed. "And Tezuka has perfect tens! Ore-sama _won _that match!" Atobe's eyes started to change color the way they did when he'd served against Sanada. "Ore-sama demands an explanation of this oversight." He turned on the ichinen, snarling. Sengoku hadn't identified the game's creators, but the kids weren't the most stealthy people he'd ever met.

Surprisingly enough, Kachiro managed to shakily tear himself away from the protective huddle. His voice sounded like it was coming from inside a washing machine, but he did manage to stammer, "The statistics are based on Buchou being at full health. W-w-without an injury card --"

"This does not explain ore-sama's nines!" He slammed the card onto the table.

"Where's Yukimura's card?"

Yanagi also retreated behind the couch at the sound of his fukubuchou's voice.

The rest of the room turned to where Sanada had been flipping through the deck Atobe left behind.

"Anou..." Kachiro now looked less than pleased at his volunteering for ichinen spokesman. "We've never seen Yukimura-san play, so we ... didn't ... make one."

There was that red spark again. Was it Sengoku's imagination or did Sanada suddenly look bigger?

"Yukimura should have a card. He could beat Tezuka."

"Anou ... the scores don't go higher than ten, Sanada-san."

"Then give him elevens."

"May we return to the issue of ore-sama's nines!"

"What an interesting game." The eyes of the room refocused in the direction the deceptively gentle voice came from. Seigaku's tensai smiled at the boiling tension of the room. Sengoku looked for exits; perhaps this hadn't been the greatest diversion he could have thought of. Atomic bombs contained less power than putting Tezuka's three greatest rivals in the same room together. He'd call Tezuka to stop this right now if it wouldn't guarantee that he'd not make the selection.

"Hardly," Atobe scoffed. "It is completely inaccurate."

Fuji glanced over Sanada's shoulder at the Tezuka card. "Not the best picture though. You might want to look for a better photographer." He smiled at the ichinen. Sengoku didn't question how Fuji knew the game was their creation. "May I play for you, Sanada-san?"

Rikkai's fukubuchou shrugged and Fuji took his hand, drawing up to the five card limit. He glanced with what might have been contempt at the Atobe card. "Tezuka wins this one easily, ne?"

Atobe fumed, grabbing his card. "Kabaji! Pen!"

"Usu."

Atobe furiously updated the special moves list. "Taunheuser serve. Plus 5 to power."

"Fair enough. This game should reflect the newest skills." Fuji smiled as he pulled a card from his own hand and laid it on top of Atobe's. Atobe read the card and started emitting a very low growl in the back of his throat.

Sengoku risked getting close enough to read the print. "Follow Mizuki's script. Minus nine to accuracy. Ouch."

He overheard Horio whisper to the other ichinen, "We didn't make that card, did we?"

Atobe's growl was now noticeably audible. Dan and Katsuo were frantically drawing up a Yukimura card under Sanada's molten glare. Ohtori had opened up a window and was helping to usher most of the bystanders through it.

Fuji beamed, unphased. "Well, that's that then." He turned to the ichinen. "Do see me if you wanted some better photos of the team. I can offer them to you at a very reasonable price." Sengoku wasn't sure if anyone else noticed the tensai palm the Tezuka card up his sleeve before he glided back out the door

"Fuji!" Atobe shouted, flying after him. Kabaji dutifully followed. "We are playing tennis, right now!"

Sanada remained behind, terrifying the ichinen and creating an indestructible Yukimura card. Sengoku took the opportunity to slink as stealthily as possible the direction opposite the one Fuji and Atobe had taken. So perhaps today wasn't his luckiest day...

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_Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the Gather series. I'm pretty sure I'm done with this series fora bit, but if I get another Senbatsu crack idea, you'll see it here. As always, many waffles to microgirl for the beta-ing and complimentary cokes._


	11. 11: Puppetmaster

_**Gather, Chapter 11**_

_Chapter Title: Puppetmaster or The EB's Favorite Crackpair_

_Author: EllipsesBandit..._

_Disclaimer: Still not mine  
_

_Rating: K, just some shounen-ai flirting and a very cracked out idea  
_

_Pairings: IbuSae, the prettiest crackpair there is.  
_

_Summary: _Saeki's experiencing some uncharacteristic melancholy. Shinji and friend cheer him up.

_A/N: _So a year or so ago, I did a series of Senbatsu based one-shots until I ran out of ideas. Then a month ago, I was feeling the need to write Shinji, so I made a little scene and brought in Saeki cuz it's the prettiest crackpair of all. Then I made the MG read it and she liked it, but it needed some work, so I did some revisions and then got distracted by her birthday fic and the Gather chapter flew by the wayside. Now, I'm rereading Gather to reformat it for my IJ archive, and what should I find? Mysterious chapter 11! Oh yeah... I was going to post this. So, yes, this grew out of my desire to give an outlet for Shinji's not exactly interior monologue.

* * *

Saeki was bored. It was late, and he knew he should be resting for tomorrow's practice, but sleep just wasn't happening-- not with Fuji inviting Tezuka over anyway. So he wandered the grounds, debating getting in a little practice with a wall if nothing else. That, however, seemed a little pointless given his current surroundings. Senbatsu was just not shaping up to be his moment, which he'd figured would happen. Most of the time, Saeki could deal with his competition. He was good, but his attitude towards the game was completely different from a Tezuka or a Sanada or even an Atobe. Still it was disappointing to see Rokkaku fall short again while getting a sobering look at the competition for Nationals.

It wasn't like him to feel this out of it. He blamed exhaustion and continued his walk until he heard a strange mumbling coming from the other side of the dormitory. Further investigation revealed a dark-haired boy, quietly admonishing something just out of Saeki's vision. Moonlight pooled around him, making his hair cast artistic shadows across his features: a poetic scene until Saeki got close enough to make out what the boy was saying.

"Usa-san, you are not being very polite. Tachibana-san is our buchou and --" Shinji looked up, and blinked at Saeki. "Yes?"

"I was just…" Saeki looked around. "Who are you talking to?"

"I wasn't talking to anyone; I was rehearsing. I hope people would be able to tell the difference, but I guess my skill level is not yet high enough." Shinji held up his hand, around which was a puppet crudely fashioned out of a sock and some grip tape.

Saeki debated the merits of investigating further versus backing slowly away. However, in his current mix of boredom and exhaustion, curiosity won out. "You're practicing ventriloquism?"

Shinji nodded. "Atobe-san said such acts were far too common to present at Tezuka-san's welcome home party; however, I don't believe we were given a fair chance since he'd already decided on singing that ridiculous song and hogging the microphone the entire time. The next time tennis camp decides to host a vaudeville night, Usa-san and I will be better prepared."

"Usa-san?"

Another nod.

"It's a bunny?"

Half-heartedly, Shinji attempted to adjust the grip tape ears into a standing position. "It's a lop-ear. Besides, I had a very minimal amount of supplies to work with under these circumstances, and I believe I did a fairly convincing job of…"

"And you named it 'Usa-san?'" Saeki tried not to snicker. He really tried.

Shinji's eyebrows narrowed. "If you think that is a silly name, perhaps I should change it. I think his new name will be Kojiroh."

Saeki stopped laughing. "Hey, I didn't--"

"What do you think, Kojiroh?"

The sock puppet bobbed up and down, before Shinji's voice answered, "I think it fits a handsome gentleman such as myself perfectly."

"Very well, Kojiroh. Would you like to tell some jokes to our audience?"

The puppet nodded, and Shinji looked expectantly at Saeki, who gave in and lay his jacket on the wet grass.

Shinji waited until Saeki was settled, then cleared his throat. "I will now tell you a very funny joke that should make you laugh extremely hard, and if it doesn't, you clearly do not have a very good sense of humor and should not be listening to comedy routines anyway. A tennis players walks into a bar--"

"Ouch!" said the puppet, still in Shinji's normal monotone. Saeki had to admit, he couldn't see Ibu's lips move, but that included the times Ibu was supposed to be talking.

Now Shinji glared at the puppet. "No, Kojiroh. I told you it is very rude to interrupt another person's jokes."

"Well your jokes aren't funny. I have a better joke."

"Really?"

"Yes, it is a knock knock joke. Do you like knock knock jokes?"

"Everyone likes knock knock jokes, Kojiroh."

"You start."

"Okay, knock knock."

"Who's there?" The puppet appeared to stare at Shinji in anticipation. After about ten seconds, Ibu continued, "That, also, was not a very funny joke, Kojiroh. Our audience is not laughing. If you cannot tell a funny joke, then I am going to make you sleep in the team laundry hamper."

The puppet's lower lip trembled. "I know a much better joke!"

Shinji gestured with his non-sock hand. "Please."

"What is the difference between a sock puppet and Tachibana-san?"

Shinji thought. "I can see many differences between a sock puppet and Tachibana-san. For one, he is a person, and sock puppets are puppets. Also, he can play tennis, and sock puppets cannot. Also…"

"You are interrupting my joke."

"Sunmason."

"Ahem, as I was saying, the difference between a sock puppet and Tachibana-san is that a sock puppet has had fewer things shoved up its--"

Shinji clamped his other hand over the sock puppet's mouth. "Kojiroh, were you going to say something rude about Tachibana-san?"

The puppet shook its head.

"Because Tachibana-san is a very important person. He saved our tennis club and has taught us many important skills and gotten our team to Nationals, so we must not be rude to him."

Another shake.

"And if you are being rude to Tachibana-san, you will still find yourself sleeping in the laundry hamper after practice and I will make you listen to Kamio's mp3 player all night . Do you understand?"

Grip tape ears flopped in a nod..

"Very well. A sock puppet has had fewer things shoved up its…" He released the puppet.

"Nose."

"Nose?"

"Yes, because puppets do not have nostrils, and I heard when Tachibana-san was a toddler, he used to shove crayons up his nose."

Saeki laughed, though he stopped when Shinji glared at him. "That was not very funny either. I don't know why you are laughing. Kojiroh, you need to come up with better material before we perform again."

"Sunmason."

The laughter burst out again., and Shinji looked quizzical. "You really enjoyed it?"

"Maybe I'm just exhausted, but yeah. I thought it was great." Saeki stretched out on his jacket. "Best time I've had for most of this camp anyway."

Shinji was quiet for a moment, and Saeki looked at the stars, occasionally glancing to watch the moonlight glint off Shinji's blue-black hair.

"If you enjoyed it…" Shinji began tentatively, "… you could join us again tomorrow night. Kojiroh clearly needs much more practice before he is ready for a professional audience, and your feedback would be appreciated. Of course, you are probably going to need to sleep tomorrow night since you are up so late tonight, and I probably should too. However--"

"Sure," Saeki shrugged, standing up. "Though I should go see if my room's safe by now. I'll see you at breakfast."

Shinji waved, a slight smile on his normally morose face. It made Saeki smile a little too, and the fukubuchou headed around the corner of the dorms. He stopped when he heard the mumbling begin again.

"Do you think he understood that in asking him to return, I was in fact asking him on a date?"

"You are as clearly a master in the ways of flirtation."

Silence for a moment. "I believe you are using sarcasm, Kojiroh."

Saeki snickered, walking back up the past. Maybe he could enjoy himself at this camp yet.


End file.
